Strange Quotes - Things You Shouldn't Do.....
"Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guy's out dancing." - Buddy Hackett
"Don't get mad. Don't get even. Just get elected, then get even." - James Carville
"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin
"Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity." - Nick Diamos
"Never believe in mirrors or newspapers." - Tom Stoppard
"Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon." - Jilly Cooper
"Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store." - Miss Piggy
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- Strange Aussie Sayings !
I’M HUNGRY
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair."
"So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck."
I'M THIRSTY
"I'm dry as a dead dingo's donger."
"I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat."
"I'm as dry as a bull’s bum going up a hill backwards."
VOMIT
"Calling for George.”
"I was driving the porcelain bus this morning."
"I left him a lawn pizza."
"Toss a tiger on the carpet."
YES
"Even Blind Freddy could see it."
"Is the Pope a Catholic?"
"Does a Koala shit in a gum tree and wipe his ass on a Cockatoo?"
"Does the Pope tuck his shirt in with a wooden spoon?"
"Bloody oath!"
"No wucking furries."
NO
"Pig's arse!!"
INSULTS
"I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders."
"Not enough brains to give 'imself a headache!"
"You must be the world's only living brain donor."
"He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."
"He had a head on him like a sucked mango."
"May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down."
"He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
"So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!"
"Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
"Pull your lip over your head and swallow!"
"As ugly as a bucket full of arseholes."
"If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards."
"Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground."
"Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse."
"About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition."
"I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!"
"A stubbie short of a six pack."
"You're as handy as shit on a stick."
"Tighter than a fish's arse."
"So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him."
"Face like a smashed crab."
"As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
"He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."
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