Laughing matters

[gordini]

- Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice every day.
- Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.




- He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.
- After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

- Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement - Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

- He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'




- Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Luigi , I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
- Luigi answers,'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes.
How do you like them?'

- Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, 'Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?'




- Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi , I do, but how do you know that?'

- He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes...
How do you like them?'

- Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played,
- Luigi asks Carmela to dance.
- Midway through the dance his face turns red...
- He states, 'Carmela, you stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please,please, tella me this true!'

- Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight...'

- Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God ......
- I thought I had a crack in my $300 Armani leather shoes...!

[gordini]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A "DOG PERSON" TO TRULY
APPRECIATE THIS STORY.

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping
centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my
Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress
upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the kerb backward,
pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"

"Stay! Stay!"


The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde,
gave me a strange look and said:



"Why don't you just put the handbrake on?"

[gordini]

A couple is having a quick-quick and their 6year old catches them,
Son: "What are you doing "???? Ask the son.
Father: "I?m putting petrol on your Mom".
Son: "Haauu haauu! Which means Mom?s engine is taking too much petrol because Mr. Zwane has put in yesterday".

Mother fainted!!!!!!!
************************************************************************


A man went to the pub with his wife. When he left for the counter to buy
drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered: "You must DEMAND
cash before s#x, I know him he doesn't pay.

*************************************************************************

Classic..
An 8 year old boy is accused of rape*.
In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, "Your
Honour see this, can he rape* with this tiny tot?
The boy whispers,
"Don't shake it, we'll lose the case!"

***************************************************************************

[Insomnia]

Steering handle Airbag for an Oldbag...

[Insomnia]

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[Insomnia]

Mario bros crossed with Terminator.

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/oyt2t42.gif

[gordini]

An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.


He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"




"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.




"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

So the little old Jewish man runs around the next block and faces her again.




"Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... OK, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah," says the little old Jewish man..."Costs too much!"

[Mopar 440]

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