New week giggle

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gordini
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New week giggle

Post by gordini » Sun 07 Oct 2012, 22:36

"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,

"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock.

He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day. He switched off his phones, cancelled all his appointments, and had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said

"I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE.

He asked "What"??????

She said "This morning your best friend James suddenly died."

_________________
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



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Bearhawke
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Location: Bullhead City, Arizona USA

Re: New week giggle

Post by Bearhawke » Mon 08 Oct 2012, 00:31

OUCH! :lol: :mrgreen: :P
Bearhawke in Az, USA

1998 Plymouth Grand Voyager minivan.

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gordini
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Re: New week giggle

Post by gordini » Mon 08 Oct 2012, 11:04

Pastor announces, " if you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left"...

All the men in the church moved to the left except 1.

The pastor was amused and asked him, "how come your wife can't control you?

The man quietly replies.... Pastor it's my wife who told
me not to move.
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



From Malmesbury

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gordini
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Re: New week giggle

Post by gordini » Mon 29 Oct 2012, 01:24

Ouma goes to the
doctor and asks his help to
revive Oupa's s.x drive.


"What about trying the blue pill?" asks the doctor.



"Not a chance," says Ouma.
"He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."



"No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his
coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back
in a week to let me know how you got on."



A week later Ouma returns to the doctor
and he inquires as to how things went.

"Oh it was terrible,
just terrible doctor."

"What happened?" asks the doctor.

"Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was
immediate. Oupa jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at
the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make
passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible."

"What was terrible?" said the doctor, "was the s.x not good?"

"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years,
but I'll never be able to show my face in Mugg & Bean again."
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



From Malmesbury

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gordini
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Re: New week giggle

Post by gordini » Sun 25 Nov 2012, 20:49

A guy walks into a bakery. Nobody was at the front so he rings the bell and says, "Hello?"

Someone replies from the back, "Over here!"

The guy walks around the corner and sees a big sweaty baker wearing no shirt rolling a ball of dough on his stomach.

"What are you doing?" the guys asks.

"I'm making buns." replies the baker

The guys says, "Isn't that kind of disgusting?"

Baker replies, "You should see how I make my donuts."
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



From Malmesbury

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gordini
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Re: New week giggle

Post by gordini » Sun 25 Nov 2012, 20:51

A cowboy rides up to the saloon. He dismounts, ties the horse to the post, then walks to the back of the horse, lifts up its tail, and gives it a long kiss right in the middle of its butt.

An old man standing outside the saloon sees this and asks the cowboy, "What did you do THAT for?"

Cowboy says, "I've got chapped lips."

Old man asks, "Does that cure 'em?"

Cowboy says, "No, but it sure keeps me from licking 'em."
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



From Malmesbury

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Mopar 440
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Re: New week giggle

Post by Mopar 440 » Mon 26 Nov 2012, 15:02

When you see it.....WTF

Image
(O O {]{]{]||[}[}[} O O)

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gordini
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Re: New week giggle

Post by gordini » Mon 26 Nov 2012, 15:34

Its like this one..look carefully and tell me what you see
gatkant.jpg
gatkant.jpg (35.42 KiB) Viewed 2036 times
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



From Malmesbury

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neresh
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Location: durban - south africa

Re: New week giggle

Post by neresh » Mon 26 Nov 2012, 17:09

An armpit :lol:
'71 camino - 406 c.i - turbo 400(manual shift kit) - 9" rear (3.50:1)

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gordini
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Re: New week giggle

Post by gordini » Sun 02 Dec 2012, 08:23

Last night i reached out of bed to sip some of my liquid Viagra, but accidently gulped down some Tippex that was standing next to it.......this morning i woke up with a huge correction

In Brakpan is die Cortinas so warm gemaak, as jy die choke trek spin die
spaarwiel :!: :!: :!: ;) ;)
In my old age...
i drink a tripple,i see double and i act single..



From Malmesbury

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